trvr (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} trvr) wrote,@ 2006-11-20 19:31:00 |
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Al-jibra (algebra) of addiction
dIDN'T burroughs have something to say about algebra & heroin addiction at the beginning (or end) of naked brunch? (i'll need to consult my yellow - not to say yellowed - copy when i get home). I wonder if he knows it also applies to caffeine? we;l not in terms of distribution; obviously coffee and caffeine pillz are legal and so the buyer/seller relationship is different.
WHAT"S MY POINT
ok, so many of you know that i am a fairly recent caffeine addict. and i don't like being an addict, but oh well. there you go. it crept up on me. when it's one cup of deli crap coffee a day, taht's ok. you're likely to catch a cup of =coffee somewhere in your travels over the course of the day. and plus it's 50 to 75 cents. but when you slowly ramp up two mugs of crack-strenght bustelo to get you going and kill that all-over bodyache, you're kinda in trouble. cuz bustelo starts tasting like metal after a while, and if you rrun out starbucks can't help you out. even with a large (whatever they call that).
my point is, addiction sucks. and beating addiction is difficult. so i've been trying to cut back, and i've been somewhat successful. i'm down to about a cup and a half of regular ass coffee. not bustelo, but not deli crap coffee either. however, its' not yet time to catch the hubris. i flew too close to the sun yesteday, friends, and today i'm getting burned. just like kid icarus.
ok yesterday i felt all good and mellow after yoga in the morning that i decided that i din't havee to drink any coffee, i'd just go about my lazy sunday. (NOT SO LAZY actually, i got a lot of errands done.) so this was ok, the pain in my face and all over my body was acute enough for me to deal. i much prefer acute pain to dull pain. i talked to kevin, he reminded me that getting high is a good way to deal with said pain. how i know this. it's true. but i am not in the holding mode right now. anyway, pain is ok. i had some black tea to cut it. and then a beer with DOOTHY to cut it further. but that didn' twork. but i went to bed with no coffee for the journee. not badd. impressive even.
HOWEAVER and this is where the point of the story finally comes, today i had my regular coffee routine and IT DIDN"T FUCKING DO A THING. argh.. i guess it's not like you skip a day of coffee, and you drink some coffee then next day, and you're better. NO. you need to DOUBLE your intake OR MORE. your body is making sure you realize that you CANNOT FUCK WITH IT LIKE THAT. you OWE so pay up, buddy. so i gave in and had more coffee at 1pm, then again at 4pm. FOUR CUPS. and i'm not back to where i'm supposed to be! ARRGH. Maybe i should just take this guy's advice:
dIDN'T burroughs have something to say about algebra & heroin addiction at the beginning (or end) of naked brunch? (i'll need to consult my yellow - not to say yellowed - copy when i get home). I wonder if he knows it also applies to caffeine? we;l not in terms of distribution; obviously coffee and caffeine pillz are legal and so the buyer/seller relationship is different.
WHAT"S MY POINT
ok, so many of you know that i am a fairly recent caffeine addict. and i don't like being an addict, but oh well. there you go. it crept up on me. when it's one cup of deli crap coffee a day, taht's ok. you're likely to catch a cup of =coffee somewhere in your travels over the course of the day. and plus it's 50 to 75 cents. but when you slowly ramp up two mugs of crack-strenght bustelo to get you going and kill that all-over bodyache, you're kinda in trouble. cuz bustelo starts tasting like metal after a while, and if you rrun out starbucks can't help you out. even with a large (whatever they call that).
my point is, addiction sucks. and beating addiction is difficult. so i've been trying to cut back, and i've been somewhat successful. i'm down to about a cup and a half of regular ass coffee. not bustelo, but not deli crap coffee either. however, its' not yet time to catch the hubris. i flew too close to the sun yesteday, friends, and today i'm getting burned. just like kid icarus.
ok yesterday i felt all good and mellow after yoga in the morning that i decided that i din't havee to drink any coffee, i'd just go about my lazy sunday. (NOT SO LAZY actually, i got a lot of errands done.) so this was ok, the pain in my face and all over my body was acute enough for me to deal. i much prefer acute pain to dull pain. i talked to kevin, he reminded me that getting high is a good way to deal with said pain. how i know this. it's true. but i am not in the holding mode right now. anyway, pain is ok. i had some black tea to cut it. and then a beer with DOOTHY to cut it further. but that didn' twork. but i went to bed with no coffee for the journee. not badd. impressive even.
HOWEAVER and this is where the point of the story finally comes, today i had my regular coffee routine and IT DIDN"T FUCKING DO A THING. argh.. i guess it's not like you skip a day of coffee, and you drink some coffee then next day, and you're better. NO. you need to DOUBLE your intake OR MORE. your body is making sure you realize that you CANNOT FUCK WITH IT LIKE THAT. you OWE so pay up, buddy. so i gave in and had more coffee at 1pm, then again at 4pm. FOUR CUPS. and i'm not back to where i'm supposed to be! ARRGH. Maybe i should just take this guy's advice:
