i autofilled my ipod today, and i now have too much hiphop on it. granted, i love the hip hop, but the fact that it far outweighs the rock within my itunes collection is due to larry's MP3 discs and my own tendency to illegally download more hiphop singles (becuz of who knows). at any rate, i have it on shuffle, and like every third song is KOOL MOE DEE.

for some reason one day i wanted "wild wild west" really bad, because it has a superbad beat (or at least it did when i was 10), and i ended up with like 30 kool moe dee songs BUT NOT WILD WILD WEST. fuck, they were so easy to pull down from solarseek, probably because no one else was in the queue but my dumb ass.

god is he horrible. remember how in the late '80s, early '90s, every middle-aged white guy (whether in a mattress commercial or at a thanksgiving table) tried to rap just to show people how it was so easy anyone could do it and how it wasn't music? yeah, well, they were all flowing like kool moe dee ALWAYS does. before, i don't know, rakim, it was a rare emcee who deviated from the tried and true "da da da da da / da da da da da / duh-da da da duh-da da da / duh-da da da da da" flow. ok, so maurice has definitely mastered that cadence, and maybe he varies it a little bit, but hardly. it's like your dad yelling the same three well-crafted admonitions at you every day.

so anyway, on my walk to the train i get to like the third curly moe dee song (ON SHUFFLE) and i'm like, fuck it, i'm not listening to this one. what's next? the song "method man," which is a fucking rhyme clinic on changing up flows.

(this "Examination of the coincidental significance of my ipod's random sequencing of songs" has been brought to you by caffeine (R). )